I moved on Thanksgiving Day in 2020 and I can’t believe it’s been that long already. NYC has given me so much but before I dive into that, let’s backtrack on how I ended up here.
The struggle season (2013-2020)
When I graduated undergrad with a Human Development degree, I didn’t know what I wanted to do for my career. I decided to go back home (Upstate NY) for what I thought would be a short stay until I found my grounding. However, my initial plan of staying there for less than a year turned into 7 years. Crazy, I know. These 7 years were filled with many ups and downs and for most of these years, I felt sad, stuck, behind, and aimless. After some years, I realized that I needed to be uprooted; I needed a big change in my environment to be able to grow and get out of what seemed to be a never-ending funk.
As I started to think of how I can change my environment, I thought moving away from home was the best option for me. It was the only way that I’d be able to grow outside of my comfort zone. My sister briefly brought up the idea of possibly moving to NYC in the winter of 2017. Originally, I was overwhelmed with the idea because I was stagnant for so many years and quite honestly, I was afraid of such a big change. Rightfully so because moving from suburbia to NEW YORK CITY out of all places sounded like it would be a shock to my system. I was so afraid that I mulled over that idea for almost two years.
Towards the end of 2019, I decided that I wanted to take on the challenge of moving to NYC. Feelings of being numb, stuck, lost, sad, etc. overwhelmed me so much that it forced me to snap out of it. I hit my version of rock bottom. I was tired of feeling the way that I felt and told myself, it’s really now or never. I knew that I didn’t want to move to NYC without a job and because I had a MSW (master social work) degree, it made sense to apply to social work jobs in NYC. At the time, I had another job already but it was only in-person. (This mention will be important later on.) I applied to a handful of jobs that I had interviews with but none of them worked out. While a part of me was bummed because I wasn’t making any progress, another part of me felt relieved that I wouldn’t have to go through this big change so soon. I decided to put a hold on job searching and I pivoted to studying for my licensing test instead because it would increase the pool of available social work jobs I can apply to as a licensed master social worker. I studied for a few months and took my test in early March 2020. I passed (woohoo!) but can you guess what happened that same week? Yup, Covid…when everything paused…including my plans to move to NYC.
When Covid hit, a part of me felt relieved because I knew that no one was progressing in life, and I didn’t feel behind like I’ve been feeling for years before. While I acknowledge that Covid was a rough time for many, Covid was my saving grace. It gave me a break from being swallowed in my negative emotions. In March 2020, my job instructed us to work remotely for over 6 months. In October of 2020, my company gave employees the option to work remotely, in-person, or a hybrid once things get better because we did well as a company, regardless of where the employees were located. Despite it still being the early stages of Covid, I knew this was my green light to move to NYC. Now was the moment and there was no better time.
In just one month, I: 1) received an email from my job that allowed the permanent flexible work schedule, 2) found a roommate (through a mutual friend), 3) found an apartment in NYC, and 4) signed a lease. Everything flowed with minimal stress, making me think that this was Allah’s plan all along. The times when I wasn’t successful with job interviews in 2019 weren’t true rejections; they were simply a redirection to this time to accomplish these steps effortlessly (and not have to look for a new job which would be an additional stressor). Because everything happened so quickly, I had a roller coaster of emotions. I was nervous, excited, curious, hesitant, etc. but I couldn’t deny that everything lined up perfectly. After many years of feeling confused and aimless at what my future could be, feeling sad from the loneliness, and feeling hopeless from being stuck, it felt as if Allah finally answered my prayers. I was ready for this change.
This ayah came to light on this journey.
Needless to say, although the trials of Covid were difficult in the beginning, little did I know that Covid would be a catalyst to a whole new, revolutionary chapter in my life.
The glow up season (2020-present)
One of the things that I wanted to work on when I moved to NYC was my social skills. For so many years, I felt stunted in my growth and felt crippled by not having a community. Unfortunately, it was still Covid so I was not able to interact much with others or go to big social gatherings to meet people. However, I did not let this stop me from doing things on my own. In fact, I realized that doing things on my own was where I experienced the most growth and was what led me to beautiful, serendipitous experiences.
By the summer of 2021, I was feeling better about where I was. I was a lot more comfortable with doing things on my own and I felt like my life was progressing. I was saying “yes” a lot more. I was more open to taking chances and doing things out of my comfort zone. January 2022 came around, and this is when I first remember feeling that life was good. I felt proud of my accomplishments by tackling the goals I set for myself. I consistently went out of my comfort zone. I was gentler and more compassionate with myself. I was more transparent and vulnerable with myself and others. I was patient, graceful, and optimistic. I started feeling like my true self — the self that was buried and scared to emerge for years, the self that was optimistic and had faith, the self that I wanted to be proud of.
It’s important to note that I was only able to do this when I stopped comparing myself to others (i.e. through Instagram). I was able to fully focus on myself and not be concerned with what others were doing. I had to constantly remind myself that my journey is my journey, not anyone else’s so I shouldn’t try to make others’ journeys my journey. Removing the need to compare myself to others was one of the biggest factors that contributed to my personal development growth.
I continued this journey throughout 2023 and by 2024, I REALLY felt like I had a full cup in all areas of life. I went to Umrah (Islamic pilgrimage) in January 2024 and it was a pivotal point in my life. That year, I vividly remember being constantly overwhelmed with gratitude, losing count of how many times I cried just from pure gratitude. Gratitude for many things but especially for my journey. I went from tears of sadness to tears of gratitude and throughout it all, faith is what rooted me. 2025 continued to be a year of growth — being more comfortable with myself, showing up for myself, and having trust in the path that Allah created for me.
What I’ve gained since being in NYC and why I’m so grateful:
Some of my dearest and closest friends. I’ve struggled with relationships in the past and through grit and putting myself out there, I’ve developed and maintained beautiful friendships. With their support, I’ve grown in ways that I never imagined and I’m forever grateful for them for allowing me to be in their orbit.
A more gracious and stronger relationship with Allah. Since moving to NYC, I’ve been much closer to my faith. I understand Allah’s role in everything and His plan. In my lower moments, I’ve learned to lean on faith for assistance. In my higher moments, I’ve learned to be grateful for what He has given me. Both have strengthened my relationship with Allah.
The ability to do Umrah. This experience was one of the top moments that I’ve experienced in NYC. How the experience came about was unexpected and what came out of it was more rewarding than what I could’ve ever imagined including: a better/more grounded connection with Allah, not being afraid to show my level of religiousness, opening the door to overwhelming levels of gratitude, a community of like-minded individuals, and more.
A healthy (or at least healthier) body. I used to never workout, like ever. Not even a year after moving to NYC, I hired a personal trainer and ended up working with her for 4+ years and I now exercise on my own. I learned more about my body, what it needs, what works, etc. The physical and mental results have been transformative.
Good habits and discipline. I strive off of routine and since I’ve started my personal development journey, I’ve developed good habits and discipline including: daily spiritual habits, reading often, (gratitude) journaling, working out, etc.
Confidence. Before moving to NYC, my confidence and self-esteem was one of the lowest it’s ever been and this was something I wanted to improve. Doing things out of my comfort zone repeatedly has been the surest way to build my confidence and I realized that trying new things is when I felt most alive.
A Muslim community. I never realized how important a strong Muslim community was to me. Getting into the ICNYC community shortly after moving to NYC has been crucial to my experience here. It’s where I’ve grown in faith, met many spiritually grounded people, got the chance to go to umrah, go to weekly classes, etc. It’s kept me grounded and I hope it continues to be a place of community and spiritual growth.
Creative outlets. NYC is truly the place where there’s so much to take advantage of! There are a plethora of classes to try out and getting into these have been a fun way to learn a new tech-less skill and keep my brain active. So far, I’ve tried: pottery, open mic, scrapbooking, sewing, and painting.
As I reflect on the past decade or so of my life, I have immense gratitude. My journey here had really low times, really high times, and a lot of “in between - just figuring it out” times. I’ve learned to be patient and that there’s a reason for everything; it’s all part of God’s plan.
“O believers! Seek comfort in patience and prayer. Allah is truly with those who are patient.” [Quran: 2:153]
Going through this journey is what allows me to appreciate my life for what it is now. I’m grateful for the progress I’ve made so far and I’m looking forward to what I can accomplish in the future because I’m still unfolding. With intentionality and grit, there’s so much more life to live. Thank you Allah for staying with me throughout it all and thank you NYC for everything that you’ve given me. All I can say is Alhamdulillah.
A part of my gallery wall in my apartment.
For anyone who is currently going through a challenging time in their life, I just want you to know that it gets better. You just have to remember to get back up when you fall EVERY time. Keep going because God knows your limits. He won’t give you more than you can handle.You got this ❤️
Let’s converse!
Moving to NYC was truly one of the top pivotal points in my life that impacted me in ways I never imagined. What have been some of your pivotal moments in life? How have they changed you?
Loved reading about your journey masha'Allah! A pivotal moment in my life was definitely moving out of my parents house. It was nowhere near as large a move as yours but having my own space and learning how to navigate it and truly adult has definitely been life-changing alhamdulillah!
Loved reading about your journey masha'Allah! A pivotal moment in my life was definitely moving out of my parents house. It was nowhere near as large a move as yours but having my own space and learning how to navigate it and truly adult has definitely been life-changing alhamdulillah!